Having kids is a constant mind-blowing rollercoaster of emotions. I don’t know about you but I can’t even find time to brush my hair let alone commit to giving full attention and enthusiasm to roll around in the sheets!
When reading these tips, remember that the effort is down to you as individuals and a team. There is only so much advice you can be given until you have to actually put the plan into action yourselves. That being said, we really believe the following will give you fresh ideas...
- Agree with your partner on your priorities - couples struggle when there is a lack of communication. Quite simply, none of us are mind readers! We can forget to communicate our expectations, especially in a loving manner (rather than screaming our disappointments at 11pm). Have a full conversation as a couple discussing your expectations of your sex lives asking questions like; "How many times a week would you like to have sex? How much foreplay do you realistically need to get in the mood? When is morning sex a viable option? Are there specific days of the week that are impossible for whatever reason?" Once you know each others expectations and needs then you can begin working out a sexy schedule that roughly works out the best times for you as a couple without losing all spontaneity.
- Ensure you are comfortable in your space - Privacy is a big hurdle when you have children, especially while they are very young and your ears are constantly tuned to hearing their every breath. There’s only so many times you can have quiet sex as a couple before you need a night just relaxing in your own space like you used to! Family and friends would love to look after your kids more often than you think, all you have to do is ask and you can feel totally free to have alone time making all the noise you want! Another great idea is to play some music in your room, not only will this mask gentle sounds but also helps to get you in the mood.
- Get to bed early – its common knowledge that having more sleep leaves us feeling refreshed and energised for the day ahead, but we often don’t think about the effect this also has on our sex lives. If you’re lacking in regular good night’s sleep then your sex life may also be lacking! Being too tired is the number 1 reason for lack of desire and can be easily avoided if we just take our evening to the bedroom much earlier. Set a bedtime alarm for an hour before you usually actually go to sleep and take the opportunity to get close while the kids are in bed. Did you know that women typically require at least 20 minutes of foreplay to become completely aroused? Quickies don’t always come naturally, excuse the pun!
- Put your partner above housework – If you’re house is anything like ours, it’ll be a mess most of the day and only blessed with your attention in the hours between kids being tucked up and you collapsing in your own bed! What we’ve learnt over the years is that the house will always get messy again, whereas investing in your relationship and giving time to your partner is priceless and something really worth the sacrifice of a well dusted fireplace!
- Get creative!! – We love them and wouldn’t change them for the world, but we would very much be lying if we said that our lives have been completely changed by having children. Like with all things in the home, we have identified and come to grips with the fact that we now need to be more creative with our lifestyle, those horrible cupboard door locky things, accepting that lego will always be stuck down the sofa, carrying babywipes wherever you go and getting creative with our sex life!
We would love to hear from our LoveDrop readers on any special tips and tricks you have discovered over the year. Get in touch and we will give you £5 off your next box.